The Art of Staying In Touch

We all know how amazingly disconnected Western civilization has becoming in the past decade or so, with the advent of social media. It was initially thought that being so [digitally] connected would lead to deeper, more satisfying relationships. But alas, that has not been the case. We’re more disconnected than we’ve ever been. I mean, when you think about it, how many neighbors can you name on your street or in your apartment complex? When was the last time you had a conversation of significance with a person you just met? How many of the people you were “doing life” with just 5 years ago do you maintain contact with?

My ability to stay in touch with people through the years seems marveling to some. My best friend and my wife (two different people, but my wife is my best friend too) have separately remarked at how amazed they are that I’m able to maintain so many relationships that aren’t an everyday presence in my life. I guess it’s why Cliff asked me to chime in on the subject, being that we’ve barely really known each other for a year but maintain significant contact whilst he’s galavanting around Australia!

Having been in ministry for over 15 years, many of which were spent working with students, I’ve come to know a lot of people - and many of them I feel personally invested in. So when it comes to staying in touch and keeping up with people, it’s quite simple for me. When I think of someone - and being a Christ-follower, I believe the Holy Spirit is the one bringing them to mind - I take a moment to connect. Life is busy, right? We don’t always have time for a phone chat, but what about a text or e-mail? It’s usually not long, perhaps, “Hey, you came to mind - hope you’re doing well, and praying for you.” 

Because I believe that every life is valuable, and that God put people in my life in different seasons for different reasons - whether for my growth and progress or theirs - I’m genuinely concerned with the happenings of their life. Will they call me or shoot back this amazing update of their life? Probably not - they might not even respond. But will it serve as a moment to reconnect our lives, and perhaps encourage one another? Probably.

Whether it’s been 2 months or 4 years, when the people that mean (or have meant) something to your life come to mind, don’t just shrug it off. Reach out and connect. You never know if you’re the person they’ve needed to talk to for where they are or what they’re going through… or if they’re the person you need to talk through life with. How many times have you been going through life, doing your thing, and randomly wonder if anyone cares? Taking a moment to send a text, write an e-mail, post to Facebook, tweet or however you choose to “reach out and touch someone”, is taking a moment to say, “I care about you.”

Isn’t it amazing that the things that enrich our lives the most really cost us so little? Who is it that you’ve wondered lately, or off and on through the years, how they’re doing? Who’s the person or people that randomly come to mind that you haven’t talked to in a while? What are the moments that you think were some of the best in your life, and who did you share them with that you haven’t connected with in a while? What would it cost to say, “Hey, I was thinking about you… how’s it going?” What might you stand to gain?

- Bryant

Cliff’s Note: The key to staying connected in our disconnected digital age is intentionality.

This was a guest post done by my good friend, Bryant Jones, pastor at The Commons Church in Seattle. Big thanks to him for contributing to Cliff Notes on a topic he knows a lot about.

The O(h)!cean

For the past few days, Emily and I have been holidaying around Fiji, The Great Barrier Reef and Sydney. Since so much of our time has been spent in the tropics, we've been at the beach a lot. With the beach comes the ocean, and with the ocean comes rest, relaxation and the handiwork of God Himself. I'm feeling refreshed and full of a new sense of how God manifested himself in Creation, all for the glory of Himself. 

This may be an opinion, but I believe there's nothing on earth quite like standing beside the ocean. It's completely different than standing next to any pond, lake or river. The ocean is unique to itself, while other bodies of water seem almost hypocritical compared to its vastness. The way it seems to breathe on you with a steady breeze that can be felt coming off of it constantly is something like the sign of life coming from underneath it. The vastness of it stretching further than any eye can see and seeming to disappear somewhere way off in the distance leaves no room for judgment on those who came before us believing the earth was flat and that if you went too far you'd fall off.

Honestly, if God were to wrap Himself up in one natural resource, I believe it would be the ocean. The ocean gives life and takes it, while we sailors merely skim the surface. It covers 70 percent of the earth, while raindrops only form it. It's peaceful and chaotic, and it's absolutely magnificent how it all works. The power coming from the sea can be enough to destroy entire cities and yet gentle enough to float along the shore on a lazy current. It's like the gateway to Heaven that God holds the door to. While we can only see the surface, below it hides a completely different, underwater world full of beautiful colors, life and buried treasure. It's a world we hear about but don't necessarily understand until we see it, and although we can see parts of it, it's something we can never see the entirety of, just like our Creator.

I believe it's true: "This world can be ugly, but isn't it beautiful?"

What are some parts of nature that make you feel small or in awe? Take some time this week and spend a few moments with whatever that is, trees, mountains or fields, and feel small. It'll be good; trust me. 

- Cliff

Cliff's Note: "A smooth sea never made for a skillful sailor."

My Hypocrisy Behind Hope

Fun fact: I used to be an actor.  

This one time in college, I played the role of Oklahoma State University's mascot, Pistol Pete. I played him, but I wasn't him; I wasn't the actual Frank 'Pistol Pete' Eaton. I was never a lawman who avenged his father's death, and I've never had a mustache. No matter how well I learned to twirl a gun or walk like I'd ridden a horse 2,000 miles, I wasn't actually him. It's one thing to pretend to be someone, and it's one thing to actually be someone. It's also one thing to say something, and it's another thing to actually do it.  

I heard a great illustration the other day that went something like this: 

pastor to congregation: how many of you believe in John 3:16? Anyone who believes in Jesus receives eternal life. How many of you have banked your life on that verse? 

congregation: (most everyone raises their hands)

pastor: That's great! Wonderful. Okay, now how many of you believe I can shoot this balloon (holds up balloon half-way blown up) with this BB gun? 

congregation: (90% of people raise their hands) 

pastor: Ah, I see you all have a lot of faith in me. Okay, how many of you would hold the balloon in your hand out to the side while I shoot it? 

congregation: (30% of people raise their hands)

pastor: Okay and out of you all, how many of you would hold the balloon in your teeth and let me shoot it? 

congregation: (one man raises his hand)  

Long story short, the pastor had the man come up and hold the balloon in his teeth, and the pastor aimed, fired and hit the balloon (much to the church's relief). It was interesting to see how many people had initial confidence in the pastor's sharp-shooting abilities, but when it came down to actually proving that trust, only one person out of everyone proved to really believe. What happens when you apply that same situation to the first question? How many folks initially say they believe in God's promises, but when it comes down to actually applying it in the real world, fall short more times than not. Personally, I would raise my hand at first, but would never, ever trust a pastor to shoot a BB gun at a balloon held between my teeth. . . Kind of like saying I would never, ever actually trust God at His Word to have complete control over my life.

I think it's called being a hypocrite (which originally meant to be an actor), and I have to admit, my acting skills are quite good. It means saying one thing, but doing another. You see, it's one thing to hear advice and not apply it, but it's another thing to give advice and not apply the advice you've given. This is something I find myself doing nearly every week. I write a blog giving advice or tips on something, and I don't take the time apply it to myself, making me a hypocrite of hypocrites. If I've given tips on getting rid of stress, what do I do the next week? I stress. I'm a hearer of the word, but not a doer of the word, and this was an issue Jesus couldn't stand.

Knowing I do this personally, I wonder how many others struggle with the same thing? Writing, speaking or giving advice to others, while all the while actually trying to write, speak and give advice to themselves to deal with what their personally struggling with. It's a situation of trying to give help to others while also giving hope to oneself, and sadly I find there's a lot of hypocrisy behind the hope I try to give. The tricky part, really, is actually believing in the hope and applying the words given. For instance, if I write that writing things down relieves stress, do I believe it enough to practice it throughout the week? So far, I usually don't. I find the same types of hypocrisy struggles in my faith life. I say I believe the word of God and all of His promises, but I don't often apply it to my life. It's quite difficult to trust God's plan, or if I do decide to 'trust' His plan or commands, I always have mine as a back up 'just in case.' It's just safer and easier to know that I have things under control.

Talk is cheap, and hypocrisy is cheaper, which may be why I'm so apt to buy into it a majority of the time. Pray for me as I continue to search for the courage, strength and boldness to apply what I write so I can begin to take not only others more seriously, but myself more seriously, as well. 

-Cliff 

Cliff's Note: Talk is cheap, and hypocrisy is cheaper. Don't buy it. 

Lessons from the 'Land Down Under'

There's nothing quite like looking out over the city of Adelaide at night from the hills that tower above the city's skyscrapers. The city literally twinkles, and it's one of the only cities in the world that does so. It's a special place due to it's location where the warmth of the ground creates an upward convection current of air, which refracts the 'twinkling' lights (for all you science nerds out there). If you look out over lights at night, it's as if the city is winking at you from thousands of different eyes, and let me tell you; it's spectacular. 

Mid-semester break is approaching in just 7 days, and we have a two week trip planned to visit Sydney, The Great Barrier Reef and the Fiji islands (you know, where they make that delicious water that costs $5/bottle). It should be a great time to experience some of my favorite things: beaches, friends, exploring, reflecting and food. . . lots of good food. 

Summer is on its way here, and as the seasons are changing, so are the reasons why I thought I was moving here. I have loved my time in Australia, and as in any place one goes, there's always something to learn. Just as one discovers why he loves home when he leaves it, one also discovers home is not all there is to this world we call 'home.' Here are a few things I've learned from this 'Land Down Under' culture that I've been grateful to experience:

1) No time around the dinner table is time wasted
There is something to be said for sitting around a table as a family and sharing a meal. Sure, the meal may only last 20 minutes and the food might just be frozen pizza, but we may sit there for two hours. The meal itself isn't the point. The point is the people, the family. The dinner table is a special place where time just melts away. As stories, advice and jokes are shared, family is formed and love happens. My family valued the time around the dinner table, and I'm stoked to say the family I'm living with here values it just the same. Remember: round, square, short or tall, tables are precious to us all, especially dinner tables. 

2) Stop and smell the roses
If there's one thing I struggle with, it's struggling to find something to do with my hands. I'm the type of guy who's always on the go, always looking for something to do and always trying to be proactive; however, it's about time I've learned to stop and smell the roses. Sometimes it's okay to chill, sometimes it's okay to have a lazy day, and sometimes it's okay to 'piddle.' It shows a great deal of selfish pride to believe I have to do everything myself and that the world will fall apart if I don't. God made it, He takes care of it, and if I don't check my email every day, the world isn't going to go to hell in a hand basket. Let's slow down on this journey of life and sniff a flower or two along the way. 

3) Holidays for days
I don't know if it's because Aussies live hundreds or thousands of miles away from any other civilization, or if it's because they just love to travel, but forreal; Aussies have the best holidays (vacations). They know how to rest well and not make work their entire life. It seems most everyone I talk to here seeks to travel and see the world, and their culture allows for it. It's not uncommon for folks to take months off of work to visit Europe or America and broaden their world view. I've loved hearing the stories of folks' travel experiences and their thoughts on why work isn't life and life isn't work. 

4) Short words are more fun
If you want to change a word to Australian slang, just take off the last three to five letters of it, and add an 'ies.' That's right, they shorten everything over here, and honestly it just makes everything seem a little more fun as you say it. Here are a few of my favorites:

• Sunnies - Sunglasses
• Uni - College
• Millie - Our family's dog
• Brekkie - Breakfast
• Barbie - Barbecue
• Lollie - Candy
  
  Use one this week, and see how many weird looks you get.

5) Choose to smile
A huge thing I've learned since I've been here is that you can choose to smile, or you can choose to frown. Most people I've met choose to smile. Regardless of the day I've had at work or how bad traffic was on the way home, I can actually choose  to walk through the front door with a smile and love those inside to the best of my ability and not take whatever 'bad' happened in my day out on them. It's true it's not good to fake it, and if something's wrong, something's wrong, but it's also true that the action of love starts as a choice, not a feeling. 

Here's to learning life's lessons together from the 'Land Down Under.' 

- Cliff

Cliff's Note: Just as one discovers why he loves home when he leaves it, one also discovers home is not all there is to this world we call 'home.'

What's your 'Christianese' for 'porn'? Just say it.

Last weekend, I attended a conference here in Adelaide called the Lifewell Conference. It was a conference that addressed some of the issues that effect our day-to-day cultural and societal experiences. With that, the conference had a speaker who addressed the issues of porn and the objectification of women, followed by a breakout session. I couldn't believe some of the graphics the woman showed us that were being displayed in our mainstream media; however, more so than that, I couldn't believe how many men seemed unaffected by what we'd just seen and heard. Out of all of the conference attendees, only five guys stayed around for that breakout session, compared to the 20 or so women who showed up (mostly concerned for their sons). I say all that to say this: Guys, where are you at, and why aren't we talking about this more?

As a 24-year-old raging, hormonic male, I would be flat out lying if I said don't struggle with lust or haven't struggled with porn. It's an issue I truly believe 99 percent of all men deal with, but only 50 percent talk about. It's been an issue ever sense Adam saw the fruit and wanted what he couldn't have. 

For some, porn is something to be proud of for watching. For Christians, it's a shameful thing that we're proud to watch when no one's looking. Let's face it, what is there stopping us? It's easy enough to pull it up on our smartphones or computers, erase it from our search history and pretend it never happened. There's no consequence, and in reality, it's rare that anyone could ever find out. Plus, what's more manly than sitting in front of a computer screen with your pants around your ankles? 

It's true, porn is a problem; However, as much as porn is the problem, it's not the only problem. It's also fear, shame and cowardliness. We are cowards while we feel, for a short time, empowered. So many times in Christian circles, we're scared to even say the word 'porn.' It's a word we bounce around and replace with "I stumbled," "secret sin" or the infamous "unspoken." As is said in Harry Potter, "Fear of the name only increases fear for the thing itself."  We don't address the real issues because we won't address the real word for fear of shame and the 'what will others think' syndrome. If we're scared to say the word porn, we're going to be terrified to admit we're actually watching it. 

Just as we hide behind our screens, we hide behind our shame. We're scared to tell even those closest to us, whether it's our best friends, mentors or our brothers and sisters in Christ. We pray for forgiveness, but where then after is the repentance? If and when we do confess to each other, we often receive an, "It's okay. There's grace for that" comeback, without any real challenge or consequence. Here's the deal, though. I don't believe there's just grace to be had. I believe there's more than that - there's power.

Just as God has given us grace upon grace, He has also, and more so, given us the power of His Spirit to overcome the bondage many of us have struggled with in regards to lust, porn and adultery. We have not been given a Spirit of shame, but of boldness, and we have not been given a Spirit of slavery, but of freedom and new life. 

This week, let us begin to be bold and free. Let us simply confess and say the word 'porn' if we need to. The secret to battling porn is talking about it, openly, not awkwardly. Find accountability that actually holds you accountable. Tell someone, anyone, and just talk about it because I promise, you're not alone. If you can't think of anyone to talk to, talk to me. I'd love to trade struggle stories and challenge one another. Let us not be cowards. I promise you this, friends: We will not experience freedom until we experience fearlessness.

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: We will not experience freedom until we experience fearlessness

A Post About Coffee

I never thought I would say this before the age of 40, but here it goes: I like coffee.

Okay, maybe lattes aren't a manly man's coffee, but it's still quite a step for me. I once vowed at the ripe age of six to never drink coffee again after trying a sip of my dad's piping hot cup of Folger's and spitting it out all over him (who can blame me though; it was Folger's). As a kid and a teenager, I always thought coffee was a drink meant for coffee dad or for men and women over the age of 40 who wanted something to sip on in the morning while discussing world problems and local gossip. I never thought it was actually something my friends or I would ever like. It was brown and bitter, like liquid earwax.

Oh, how wrong I was. 

From the mountains in Peru to the streets of Seattle, coffee is everywhere. It's an import and an export, and it's a kickstart to many individuals' day worldwide. There are even worldwide coffee competitions now known as battles of the baristas to find out who pours the best lattes. From the retired 'regulars' meeting at the local diner at 5 a.m. to shoot the breeze, to the college student studying for a final exam at 5 p.m., there's no doubt that it really is 5 o'clock somewhere when it comes to coffee.

Coffee isn't just a drink for 'old people;' Coffee is a culture, and here's why:

1) Coffee stokes energy
It's 8 a.m., and you're on your way to work, but you can't seem to keep your eyes open. What do you do? Coffee. It's 11 p.m. and you have a paper due at 12 a.m., and you're only halfway done. What do you do? Coffee. It's -10 degrees outside, there's a tornado on its way and you're out of toilet paper. What do you do? Coffee. It gets you where you need to be. It gives you the energy you need to get there, and it helps give you that caffeine fix in a way that isn't quite as unhealthy as a soda. Moderate intakes of coffee can definitely help improve your morning mood, energy and memory levels. Try it. Just don't get addicted to it or anything.

2) Coffee builds community
Have you ever seen a group of men or women sitting around a table with cups of fresh, steaming coffee in front of them? You'd have thought time didn't exist. They could sit there and talk forever about nothing but make it seem like everything. People meet day in a day out just to sit and share life over a cup of ground up beans mixed with hot water - that's fascinating, and I don't understand it, especially since many of these meetings occur before 7 a.m. There's just something about coffee that builds relationships and friendships and that brings life to a community.

3) Coffee means coffee shops
Coffee shops are awesome, and I mean that in the least hipster way possible. There is just something about the atmosphere. The sounds, the smells, the subtle music in the background and the warmth felt from the place and the people just bring a certain vibe that are unique to coffee shops. They are places that coax creativity and relax restlessness. They are folks' home away from home and work, and they provide that un-awkward place to meet people for the first time, whether it's on a first date or for a business meeting. Coffee shops are that 'safe' third place that people feel like they can meet at in neutrality to talk, work or find relationship. The coffee shop has become this 21st century version of the well in the New Testament where people from all over a community can meet, greet and hangout. You can get to know the workers, and the workers can get to know you, and there's just something special about people getting to know each other.

Yes, I once was a coffee hater, but now I think I'll go get some later. It's 3 a.m. here, so I'll definitely be needing it in the morning. Here's my challenge for the week: go share a cup of coffee with someone, anyone. Go on a date, meet a friend or call me up if you can't find anyone else. I would love to join you.

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Coffee isn't just for 'old people;' it's for community. 

So You've Found Your 'Calling;' Now What?

On the kitchen wall of the family's home I live in here in Australia reads this verse from Ephesians 4:

"Live a life worthy of the calling you've received."

If only it were that easy (sigh). It's always easier said than done.

If finding and answering my calling in life was as easy as finding and answering the calls on my iPhone, life would be easy. Unfortunately though, we can't pick life up in one hand and swipe it to the right in order to discover what's next. It usually takes lots of prayer, thought, obedience and more prayer. There's just something about finding life's 'calling' that all people strive for. We all want to love our careers and be able to explore our passions and share those passions with others in order to make some sort of a difference in the world. It's something I've thought about and prayed for a lot, especially since I've graduated college and begun to travel more and broaden my world view. Since then, God has been faithful, and I believe He's shown me my calling in life, but now that He has, what's next and what do I from here? That's the question.

I believe a lot of our calling's come from our backgrounds and upbringings. If we have past experiences that have had negative or positive impacts on our lives, we're more likely to develop passions in those areas that develop into callings and desires to help fix those problems or improve those impacts through justice and reconciliation. For example, if a person has experienced a chronic illness, they are probably highly likely to have an interest in helping cure that illness and helping those dealing with that illness. This isn't always the case, but in my case, it held true. 

I have a passion and a calling to build community. I have a burning desire to see communities come together and be transformed through the Church. It's my passion to network not just church leaders, but also community leaders together to bring unity and transformation to towns, cities and states. I want to do this by:

• writing and telling stories in an effort to change culture and
• casting vision as to why and how congregations can serve those in need
• creating conversations on key issues with key leaders
• developing relationships with leaders with the goal of serving them in their call to love their cities

As of now, I have no idea how the Lord is going to work this calling out that He's laid on my heart, but I'm confident that if He's behind, He's going to provide the answers and the resources. I come from a background of communities with many churches, and I truly believe God brought me up in those environments to help establish this calling in my life. As the saying goes:

"Our past doesn't define us, but it shapes us into who we are."

God is doing a work in His people right now to stir a sense of togetherness, and I feel led to serve in that work in whatever way He calls me to. I believe in the power of unity and in the prayer Jesus prayed hours before He was crucified when He prayed that we, His followers, would be one, as He and the Father are One, so that the world may know Him (John 17). 

I write this not to boast in a calling, but to ask for help and guidance with this calling. I write this as an encouragement to anyone else who is exploring their calling and at a loss for what's next. Pray, seek counsel and seek vision from others. We must keep pursuing our passions, stewarding the gift's He's given us well and believing that the Lord is indeed with us and has gone before us. A 'calling' isn't always a job or a career; sometimes it's just doing the thing that you love to do and sharing that thing with others. If you want to be a writer, blog. If you want to be an athlete, go play pick-up games with friends. If you want to be a musician, play with your church worship band. Pursue passion.  

As I said earlier, I'm still praying and seeking what these next steps are with the calling I've received. I would love anyone's help, support or vision if you have any insight, thoughts or ideas (or if you share the same passion that would be amazing too), so please comment or get in touch with me if you have anything you'd like to share. We can grab a cup of coffee or have a FaceTime session. As for now, I'll continue to fill auto part orders in a warehouse in Adelaide, Australia knowing that I am where I am now for a reason and that it is only preparing me for something more in the future. 

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Don't try to change the world, but instead find something you love to do and do it every day. Through that and the passion that comes from that, the world will change. 

3 Tips to Sink Stress

I'm so sick of worry, and for a guy with "Hakuna Matata" (it means no worries!) tattooed on his left bicep, I sure do worry a lot. Worry wakes me up every morning like an alarm clock going off in my head at 8 a.m. It never fails; as soon as I open my eyes, the thoughts, worries and troubles of not just that day or that week, but the thoughts worries and troubles of 10 years down the road, creep into my head like a lion ready to devour me.

For example, here were a few of this morning's meaningless worries that woke me up that have no real inclination on my life:

• What if I lose my job and can't pay my rent
• What if I don't have enough money to go on vacations 
• What if I have a daughter and she doesn't like me

Notice, they're all "what if's," and most of them deal with money. Worry is evil, prideful and sinful and to see its evidence in my life makes me cringe. If you're like me and full of anxieties, here are a few tips I'm going to be implementing into my own life to help chunk up the deuces to worry and his friends. 

1) Write it Down
There is something about checking things off a list that make me feel productive. In turn, there's something equally satisfying about writing things on a list so as to get them out of my head. Putting thoughts and worries down on paper, whether it's a chore, an errand to run or a future worry, helps take the nagging stress away of having to remember to get that task done. It also helps make that future worry not seem like such a reality. When I read, "I'm worried about having a daughter that won't like me" on paper, it helps me remember that, "Oh! I'm not married, and oh! there is 0 percent chance Emily is pregnant." Poof. Worry gone. 
Write stuff down. Get stuff done. 

2) Ask for Help
I've come to realize that asking for help is not as bad as it seems. I'm not talking about asking for mental help, like from a psychiatrist, but help for getting tasks done if there's too much on your plate. One thing that cause high stress and high worry is having too much going on at once. Whether it's work, family stuff or just day to day life, asking for help can indeed be helpful. Not only is it a sign of humility, but you'll also find that if you ask people that you love and that love you for their help, more times than not, they will be happy to help because they do indeed love you and want to help you. When you ask for help, you begin to talk about your worries openly and get them out of your own hands. As the African proverb goes:

If you want to go fast go alone; if you want to go far go together.

3) Give it God
It's never really occurred to me until recently that worry is a sign of pride. Worry says that "I have to take care of this, that and the other," and it says "All these thoughts are my own, and I'm going to take care of them myself." It's such arrogance, really. In reality, the key to overcoming worry is to hand all our worries over to Someone who cares for us and can take care of all our worries. That person is God. It says in 1 Peter 5:

"Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God so that at the right time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him because He cares for you."

If we become humble enough to admit our worries to Him and humble enough to say, "This (insert worry here) is really stressing me out, Lord. I trust you with it. You are in control. You'll take care of it because You take care of me," then surely we will begin to experience freedom from the day to day thoughts that weigh us down. 

-Cliff

Do you have any tactics for battling worry yourself? If so, I'd love to hear them. Leave a comment below with whatever it is that helps you sink your stress.

Cliff's Note: He'll take care of it because He takes care of you.

What I'm Reading:
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
 

Why Jesus Knows it all and I don't

If you could wake up tomorrow with any superpower, what super power would you want?

The ability to fly? Invisibility? Being extremely rich to turn into the next Batman or Ironman?

I used to be a Mighty Morphin Power Ranger, and that was okay, but I think now I'd pick the ability to teleport so I could be anywhere at any time in an instant . . . it seems like a good way to see the world at a low cost without having to rely on frequent flyer miles. Honestly though, Some super powers are just better than others. For instance, I'd much rather have super strength than the ability to tie my shoe laces with my mind. That would be lame . . . like so lame I might not even show it for show and tell day. Another super power that, personally, would be rough to have would be the ability to know everything. Just think, you may always get A's in school, but you'd always know what people thought about you . . . the good and the bad and you probably wouldn't have many friends because you'd be a (here it comes) "know-it-all." Really, I just think there's one Person that could have that super power and be able to pull it off well, and thankfully He does.

In the Bible, there is a really special underlying story that takes place in John 13, 18 and 21 between Jesus and Peter. Most commonly, this is the story of Peter's denial of Jesus, but in reality there is so much more to it than that.

In John chapter 13, Jesus predicts that Peter will deny him, while Peter is convinced that he would easily lay down his life for Jesus. Then, in chapter 18, we read that not only does Peter not lay down his life for Jesus, but he openly denies even knowing Him THREE times. That would be like me denying that I even know my best friend not once, not twice, but three times in public while I've actually gone to school with him, ate with him and shared life with him for three years . . . not to mention he's also standing in front of a jury about to be convicted of a crime I personally know he did not commit.

Ouch.

However, in chapter 21 we find Jesus offering Peter a chance for not only redemption, but also a chance to see why Jesus is still bros with Peter, post-denial. Jesus has defeated death by this point and has resurrected from the dead. Now, He's just making the occasional guest appearance at disciple events and proving that He is indeed alive. The disciples have just come back from a morning of fishing when they see Jesus on the shore waving them in for breakfast. As they sit by the fire, Jesus has this amazing conversation with Peter that goes a little bit like this:

Jesus: "Do you love me?"
Peter: "Yes, Lord. You know I love you."
Jesus: "Feed my lambs. Do you love me?"
Peter: "Yes, Lord. You know I love you."
Jesus: "Tend my sheep. Do you love me?"
Peter (probably slightly irritated at this point at being asked the same question three times and references to sheep): "Lord, you know everything; you know I love you."
Jesus: "Feed my sheep."

Don't get me wrong, the fact that Jesus let Peter redeem himself three times after he denied Him three times is a beautiful picture, but what's even more spectacular to me is the way Peter says Jesus knows He loves him. It's this beautiful picture of Peter knowing Jesus loves Him despite his mistakes. Even though Jesus knew Peter would deny him, Jesus still knew Peter's true heart. Regardless of what Peter's flesh did, Jesus still knew Peter's true love for Him because Jesus, being Lord of all, has the gift of knowing everything. Jesus knows us. He knows me, and He knows you. Regardless of how broken and messed up we as humans can be, He knows where our hearts truly reside.

-Cliff

Cliff's Note: Despite our flesh failing, Jesus' love doesn't, and we can know that because He knows us. 

What I'm Reading:
Wild at Heart by John Eldridge
The letter of First Peter

3 Perks to Growing Up

Let's face it; there's just something scary about becoming a "grown up." Grown ups have to pay the taxes, grown ups have to get real jobs that last longer than 4 hours a day, and grown ups have to take care of not only themselves, but also other actual living beings (wives, babies, etc.). That's scary.

I'm on the cusp of turning the ripe age of 24, and a huge part of me wants to go back to being a seventh grade boy. As a seventh grader, the only real thing I had to worry about was what time baseball practice was and what day the garbage needed to be taken out. However, now that I've graduated college and fallen in love and gotten a fiancé, I realize that being a seventh grade boy is no longer a viable option and that growing up is probably my next best option, no matter how scary that may seem.

As the realities of becoming an adult become more and more clear, here are a few of the ideas I've chosen to focus on to help make growing up something to look forward to more than something to fear:

1) Adults get to do cool things
There are a lot of not cool things that adults have to do, and there are a lot of not cool things adults do when they are trying to be cool, but there is no doubt that adults get to do cool things . . . much cooler things than seventh graders. From age 16 and on, the things you get to do become cooler and cooler. From being able to drive, voting, being able to drink and car insurance rates going down, getting older provides a lot of pretty neat opportunities. After a certain point, parents even begin to trust you a little more and you get a little more freedom- like being able to move halfway around the world or something crazy like that. The truth is, without growing up, doing some of life's coolest things wouldn't be possible, and none of us would have hit puberty. AND WE GET TO MAKE MONEY.

2) No more bedtime
Remember those lousy curfews that you had growing up starting at age 3? First it was bed time at 7 p.m., and then it was be back home by 11 p.m. (9 p.m. on school nights). Well guess what, adults don't have bedtimes. Adults also get to get married, have kids and tell those kids they have bedtimes and what better fun is it to get together with your best friend every night and send your little God-given creations off to bed at 7 p.m. so you and your significant other can finally get some of that alone time you've been seeking after since high school. But really, I can't think of anything quite as exciting about growing up as having a family, wife and kids and doing life together through the good times and the 'bed' times (sorry- I had to get my one dad joke in).

3) Growing up is God's plan
You may have a god, and you may have a plan, but you don't always have God's plan. In reality, His ideas are always much better than mine, making His plans always much better than mine. I may think it's a great idea to stay 14-years-old all my life so I can play baseball, have a squeaky voice and have my parents drop me off at the movies, but praise the Lord He doesn't think that's a great idea. I've found it super comforting to reflect on one of my favorite Remember the Titans quotes, which also happens to originally come from Isaiah 40, "Even youth grow tired and weary, but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not grow faint." No matter how young or old I am, I'm going to get tired. I'm going to experience trial, change and adversity, but as long as I'm putting my trust in the Grace of God, I can run the race set out for me regardless of how old I get. There is adventure to be had, and that adventure is only going to more epic the older I get as I grow in wisdom and understanding. 

Cliff's note: There will always be life after death and taxes.

- Cliff

What I'm reading:
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
1 Samuel
the Gospel of John

Applebee's Knows My Neighbor Better Than Me

I feel like I don’t know my neighbor.

To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever really known my neighbor. Whether it was at the same exact house I lived in for 18 years of my life in Duncan, Okla., either of the 4 different places I lived in college or in my residence in Seattle, I don’t think I’ve ever known my neighbor. Quite frankly, that’s sad.

As introverted as I am, it makes meeting people exhausting for me. Yet at the same time, I get a lot of joy out of hearing other people’s life stories because no one’s story is ever the same. A big part of my job now is to meet with strangers on a regular basis for coffee shops and ask them about their families, their churches and their stories. It’s super intriguing, and you’d be amazed at the amount of info someone will share if you just ask them – even after just meeting one time.

As I look back on all the people that I’ve lived only a stone’s toss away from, it makes me feel like someone gave me a stack of New York Time’s Best Sellers that I just poured kerosene on and lit on fire, not caring to even look past the cover. But that’s the truth, isn’t it? How quick are we to know only the cover of someone when in reality, there’s an entire novel to dive into that’s possibly better than any of the Harry Potter series. Personally, I tend to not even know the ‘covers’ of my neighbors. I couldn’t tell you a single one of my neighbors names, whether it’s anyone that has lived beside me or across the street from me. For all I know, I could’ve been living next to John Wayne’s grandson or something. The point is, I’ve really missed out.

There are only a few things I know to be true about knowing neighbors. The main one is the ‘Golden Rule, to “love your neighbor as yourself.” What if that literally means your neighbor? If it does, I’ve royally been breaking the Golden Rule for 23 years. There’s another verse in the Bible that say’s we’re to be “witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” I feel like our minds are quick to forget the “Judea and Samaria” and the places close by jumping automatically to the ends of the earth. I know when I think missions, I don’t think my neighborhood. I think Africa. For some reason, I think everyone thinks Africa . . .

This year is the first year I’ve ever had to share the same room with someone else. As a result, I have three REALLY close neighbors, each with our own twin-sized bed within six feet of each other. One of my roommates and I came to a sad, but true conclusion. We’ve been living an arm’s length away from one another for seven months, and we just went to coffee together for the first time last week. We’re friends now, and we even follow each other on Instagram.

The truth is, Applebee’s knows my neighbor better than I do, and I’ve treated the Golden Rule like fool’s gold for the past 23 years. Flying to Africa is expensive but walking next door isn’t; maybe I’ll try that.

– Cliff

What Are You Afraid Of?

The first memory that I have of being scared is from a reoccurring nightmare that I had when I was a kid. In this nightmare, ‘Little Caesar’ from the Little Caesar’s commercials would chase me around a sidewalk above a deep, dark pit screaming “Pizza! Pizza!” at me until I fell off the sidewalk and into the pit. Looking back on it now, I completely understand why this was so scary; you’d be scared too if a miniature, zombie-Caesar was chasing you around a pit with a spear full of nasty, $5 pizza screaming at you to eat it. That’s terrifying and not to mention a terrible marketing strategy if you ask me.

Every time I woke up from this dream, I’d be breathing heavy, covered in sweat and completely terrified. However, I’m not totally sure of what I was terrified of. I don’t’ know if I was really scared of zombie-Caesar or if I was scared of what was at the bottom of the pit. I never really knew what was at the bottom of the pit because I never got there. There’s just something about ‘falling dreams’ that don’t allow you to ever actually hit the ground. I never knew what was there, but I was still scared; I was scared of the unknown.

Deep down, I wonder if that’s what really drives our fears – the unknown. Ever since I’ve been old enough to have fears and know what my fears were, I’ve been scared of three things: death, being left alone at night in the middle of the woods or the ocean and Cold Case Files reruns. Those three are my bugga-boos, and just thinking about them gives me goose bumps every time. Death used to be a lot scarier than it is now. I used to be scared of it because I didn’t know where I was going to go when I died (Praise the Lord now I do). What’s scary about death now is that I don’t know where all my friends and family are going to go when they die. Being left alone at night in the middle of the woods or the ocean is still scary to me because I have ZERO idea what’s out there. For all I know, there could be a man-eating ghost deer or a shark the size of Texas swimming around. I don’t think I need to have an explanation for the Cold Case Files reruns; they’re serial murder cases that have gone cold because they can’t find the murderer! He may be right behind you for all you know. The point behind all of these fears is that there is an ‘unknown’ driving them all.

With that, I ask the question: Who do we fear more? Satan, who we know has the ultimate defeat, or Jesus, Who we know has the ultimate victory?

I think the easy answer is to say that we shouldn’t fear at all because how can one fear when we know the outcome; however, I think there’s more to it than that, and I think a healthy dose of fear is good because without fear, what reverence do we have?

I often seem to fear satan first. Culture has made a mockery out of my King, and it has turned satan and demons into movie stars that we should fear because they may be lurking under our beds and possessing our children. They have taken Jesus, Ruler of the Universe, and turned Him into a teddy bear full of love that sits on a cloud. I’m sorry, but that portrayal of Jesus isn’t much to be feared. What about the Jesus we read about in Revelation Who rides on a white horse ready to judge and make war with eyes like flames of fire, a sword coming from His mouth and His robe dipped in blood? That’s something to fear.

Romans 11:34 says “For who has known the mind of the Lord. . .?” No one. No one has every known or could possibly know the mind of the Lord and because of that there should be fear, not because He is an unjust dictator in the clouds ready to smite us, but because His ways are Higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts. He is personal, and we are to be in relationship with Him, but the mystery of His ways and thoughts should evoke a reverent fear of His all-powerfulness.

The Bible uses the word “fear” in reference to God something like 300 times, but it doesn’t say anywhere that we are to fear satan or his demons. We know what satan really is. Satan is a loser. He’s already lost the battle, and he’s only here to spread lies that he is something to fear when he’s not. There is no unknowing to satan. We know his final destiny, and we know what he is because God has exposed to us everything about him and how and why he works.

I write this because I don’t want myself or my Brothers and Sisters to ever fear the enemy. Whether it’s a group of ‘satanists’ passing out demonic coloring books to children in elementary schools or another group planting a satanic statue in the state capitol building, we shouldn’t fret. My home has recently been experiencing both of these obstacles, and it sucks to see it happen to the place I grew up in; however, it’s important to realize that in the end, Jesus wins. Even when a group says, “The coloring books give children the opportunity to see that devil worship is not what everyone tells them it is,” we shouldn’t live in fear because as scary as that statement sounds, it holds no weight compared to this promise:

“Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, holding the key of the abyss and a great chain in his hand. And he laid hold of the dragon, the serpent of old, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years; and he threw him into the abyss, and shut it and sealed it over him, so that he would not deceive the nations any longer . . .” – Revelation 20:1-3

Now that’s a dark pit to be scared of.

Let’s love the people we’re ‘scared’ of and fight this war with courage. We’re fighting from victory, not for victory, folks. Don’t be afraid as we fight this battle together as One Church, but only fear the unknown of which is the mystery of our Lord.
These are just some thoughts that right now I believe to be true in my Simple-Minded, Inexperienced Lifestyle Expert life. What are you afraid of?

-Cliff

5 Ways to Bring Longevity to Long-Distance

We’ve all heard the cliché, “distance makes the heart grow fonder;” however, how true is that statement? And if distance makes the heart grow fonder, what does closeness do?

Relationships with friends, significant others and family are hard, but adding long distance to those relationships can make them seem even harder. Even when you’re as close as living under the same roof as someone, relationships take work, sacrifice and intentionality; however, how much more hard work, sacrifice and intentionally do relationships take when you add a few hundred or a few thousand miles between friends, family and home? Here are a few tips to help bring longevity and life to long-distance friendships and relationships, whether you’re out of the country for a few years or just across the state for a few months.

1. Use Technology
This is the obvious one. We live in the most technological age of the world, and it’s only going to get more advanced as time goes on. With technology comes an array of options to help keep in contact with close friends and family. From email, phone calls, texting, Skyping, FaceTiming, Tweeting, Facebooking, Instagraming, Snapchating and so many more communication vehicles, there are more than enough ways to stay connected to those we love (if you got through that list in one breath, props). Though technology may be hard to come by and use in certain places, public Wi-Fi is available now in many places, so be sure to take advantage of it. Use technology to call or write to your friends and family when you can, and never forget to call home; mom and dad want to make sure you’re alive. Also, here’s another key tip– Don’t let technology distract you from where you are. Be present and be in the moment; you are where you are for a reason.

2. Communicate Well
Unless you want to live on a deserted island by yourself with no contact to the outside world, communication is important. The ability to communicate well is crucial to healthy relationships, and it is vital to any relationship, long distance or close, to be able to communicate in a healthy way. It’s important to be able to figure out your strengths and weaknesses in communication, as well as figuring out the other person’s strengths and weaknesses. For example, if one person’s strength is texting and the other person’s strength is talking on the phone, spend some time doing each of these things to so people can benefit. To communicate well with loved ones, especially over long distance, it takes patience, understanding and selflessness. With distance come time differences. To communicate effectively over time differences, it takes patience with your friends and an understanding that schedules are not always going to line up. It’s important to set aside that extra time in your schedule to communicate well – even when it’s hard and when the timing is not always the most convenient for you. Be selfless with your time, and most importantly be flexible.

3. Know Love Languages
Knowing “love languages” may sound like something that’s just for people with ‘significant others,’ but it’s really for every kind of relationship and friendship. Knowing the love languages of the people closest to you is important in order to love friends intentionally, regardless of the distance separating you. The five love languages are: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifting, quality time and physical touch. Some of these are easier than others to do across distances, such as writing a letter full of words of affirmation, spending quality time together via FaceTime or Skype, or sending small gifts in the mail to one another. Physical touch and service are more difficult simply because it’s hard to hug someone when they’re thousands of miles away; however, still knowing one another’s love languages can save a lot of time and energy on figuring out how to show love to those closest to you. Here are some basic ideas: Affirmation: letters, Quality time: Skype, Gifts: a package in the mail, Service: Be thoughtful in gift giving, Physical touch: Give the biggest hugs ever upon reuniting

4. Look Forward to Something
Remember when you were a kid and there was nothing more difficult than waiting for Christmas morning? It was something to look forward to all year ‘round that would start on December 26 and wouldn’t stop until December 25 the next year. Just as a kid has Christmas to look forward to each year, it’s absolutely helpful to have a date to look forward to with your friends that’s in the future. Whether it’s a Skype session next week or Spring break six months away, having a date set to see one another again in the future is a symbol of hope and longing that keeps a positive vibe flowing through the relationship. It’s something to talk about, plan for and look forward to together. This has been one of the biggest keys for my girlfriend and I, as we’ve dated long distance for the past 10 months. We’ve always had a date to look forward to in the future when we would see one another again, and it’s given us a positive, tangible thing to hold on to when homesickness and missing one another sinks in. I highly recommend countdown calendars.

5. Realize Distance is Only Temporary
Even though the form of a relationship may change from close distance to long distance, it doesn’t mean the intensity of a relationship has to change. Distance is only a stage and a small part of the overall story that makes up a relationship. All relationships have stages to them, and distance is just another stage and test that will only strengthen the relationship and make it deeper. Long-distance friendships are unique, and with them relationships can grow in ways unlike any other. As talking and writing become the main form of communication, it becomes easier to have deep, meaningful conversations with the people closest to you because there’s only room for so much “small talk” before there is nothing left to talk about except deep issues and feelings. If you’re in a long-distance relationship or friendship of any kind, I would encourage you to step back and realize that it will only be “long-distance” for a small period of time in the grand scheme of life’s story. It’s a special time that can build your relationship into one that is unshakeable and strong for all the right reasons.

With these tips in mind, let’s go back to this question: “If distance makes the heart grow fonder, what should closeness do?”

Closeness makes our hearts grow ready for distance when times of distance come. Regardless of how many friendships you may have, distance is bound to sneak into at least one of those relationships at some point, whether it’s a friend moving away to college or a significant other taking a job in a new place. Take advantage of the time you have with your friends and family while you’re close to them so that if and when distance becomes a factor of those relationships, you’re prepared to take the steps needed to keep the people you love in your life close, regardless of how far away they may seem.

-Cliff

Why Life Shouldn't Be a Social Media Post

The other day on my walk to church, I passed by some of the most beautiful blue flowers I’d ever seen. They were so perfect; I didn’t even have to put a filter on the picture I took of them for social media purposes.

As I passed by these flowers and stopped to take a photo to share with the whole world (especially my girlfriend) via social media, I was stoked. I was so excited to deliver this newly discovered beauty to my small social media galaxy until, all of a sudden, the thoughts rolled in. The thoughts and fears of what others might think about this post clouded my mind as I stood there awkwardly in front of this person’s home debating whether or not to share their small garden secret with the world.

My thoughts:
Men aren’t supposed to post pictures of flowers; flowers are girly.
No one is going to like this. It’s not something I normally post.
It’s just a picture of flowers. Who really cares?
Men aren’t supposed to post pictures of flowers.
You’re a man. Men don’t post flower pictures.
Flowers. Man. No.

I spent a solid two minutes standing on the sidewalk in front of this person’s house having an argument with myself about whether or not the picture was worth posting. I was consumed with whether or not this post on social media would be something people responded to positively because, just like anything I post, I would constantly check to see how many likes, comments or reTweets I got, and depending on the feedback, it would either make me happy or sad. If people responded well, I’d smile and pat myself on the back. If it were bad, I’d feel let down and probably delete it because I wouldn’t want anything that made me look unpopular left on my profile.

I always seem to shape not only my social media, but also my life, around what will get me the most responses and most gratification. The more ‘likes’ I get from people, the better I feel. If my friends liked seeing pictures of me with cats, I’d start kidnapping cats from around the neighborhood so I could take photos with them. If I knew my friends didn’t like dogs, I probably wouldn’t post pictures of dogs (even though I really love dogs and really hate cats). In short, I don’t post things because I want to or should; I post things to impress others.

This isn’t healthy, not just on social media, but for life in general. If life were about living for the approval of others, then how we treat others, our free time and ourselves would begin to be ruled by what everyone else thinks. If each moment in life turned into its own social media post and our decisions were based on the number of real-life ‘likes’ we got, then there would be a lot of important people in our lives hitting the unfollow button.

Seeking approval from others has always been a big problem of mine. That’s why I stand in front of stranger’s houses debating whether or not to post pictures of their flowers. Therefore, I want to encourage you with this:

Post the picture.

Don’t be an actor trying to perform for your friends because that’s acting and not reality. Be yourself and play the role God has picked out for you in this great story called life. Escape the worry of what others think and relax in the promise that it doesn’t matter what they think. Everyone is weird, and you’re no different. Take pictures of flowers, post them and if someone says something, tell them to stop and smell the roses.

-Cliff

Transformation Happens at Relationship

I have a best friend that I’ve known more than 10 years. We live on opposite ends of the country, but we still talk like we live at opposite ends of the street. Just like you and your best friend, we talk about life, sports and spirituality. However, when we talk, my friend and I always end up talking ourselves into extreme, transformative ideas – ideas that slowly, but surely take form, take action and become reality.

My point here is not to boast about having a good friend. My point here is to prove that relationship means something. In fact, it means everything. Relationship means not just knowing about someone, but also knowing someone inside and out. It means not just talking about someone, but talking with someone about their past, their dreams and their goals. When relationship happens, transformation happens.

Relationship is important in our cities and communities if we want to see change in the lives of those around us. There are successes and failures of transformative efforts on both the right and left sides of the political spectrum and if we come to a middle ground, we can wind up at relationship. While one side focuses on the individual and his or her righteousness, the other side focuses on group systems and social justice. Both righteousness and social justice are good, but what happens when we become so focused on a person’s rightness or a system that can fix a person’s rightness that we overlook actually talking to the person in question rather than just about them and their issues. What happens when we forget relationship?

I’m going to quote Jesus on this one from Mark 12: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” When we forget relationship, we are most certainly not loving our neighbor as our self. On the contrary, when we forget relationship, we begin to live out the idea that “Jesus loves you, but I don’t love you.” We begin to tell people how to live, but not live life with them.

Transformation moves at the speed of relationship. Earlier, I said that I’ve had a friend that I’ve cultivated a relationship with for more than 10 years. Because of that, we can pitch each other outlandish ideas that slowly become not so outlandish. The point is this: My friend is much more likely to listen to and consider crazy ideas and change if he hears it from me than if he hears them from a stranger who is telling him to do something he’s never thought of doing. This is also applies to the alcoholic standing on the street corner or the woman being exploited; they’re more likely to change if we love them like Jesus told us to and if we have a relationship with them. If we want to see lives, cities and our world transformed, we have to be bold enough to establish relationships and love our neighbors, whomever they may be, as ourselves.

-Cliff

If a Man Barks on the Bus, do you Bark Back?

It’s super ironic to me that Easter and April Fools’ Day fall on the same week this year. It’s as if Jesus planned for this sort of thing to happen when He played they best April Fools’ Day prank ever when he “died” . . . because He didn’t.

Don’t hate on that dad joke either; it’s never too early to start practicing them.

With Easter comes eggs, and with eggs come chickens, and speaking of chickens, I’m one of the biggest ones of them all. I’m not the kind with feathers, but I’m the kind that’s scared to cross the road, like this:

To begin any sort of relationship with anyone is scary. It requires trust and vulnerability. However, entering into a relationship with someone “different than you” is another ball game. By different, I mean someone who may look different, talk different, believe differently or live a different lifestyle that’s more waffles, while yours is more pancakes. The truth is, there are some strange people out there, and to begin a relationship with anyone who appears to be different automatically sends up red flags. Whether it’s the man barking to himself on the bus, the woman who doesn’t appear to know any English or the high school kid spitting of streams of curse words with bliss that Lil’ Wayne would be jealous of, there is a lot of weirdness and intimidation out there and to step into relationship with that is scary. The funny thing though is that I’m different too. I almost barked back.

To begin a relationship is hard. If someone seems crazy or doesn’t even appear to speak the same language, how hard is it to even say “hello,” or much less go into a full-blown conversation with them. Even harder than that is starting a genuine relationship with that person, and then the thoughts creep in of “we have nothing in common, so what’s the point of even trying.” There is a point, and the point is that although relationships are scary or may seem pointless, relationships are transformative. They may cost something, but they’re always worth more than they cost.

Remember this: Jesus began a relationship with us.

In all of our difference, weirdness and evil, He stepped in, said “hello” and offered a relationship and every resource He had. It cost Him His life. The bread and water He offered weren’t bread and water that would meet the immediate needs of hunger and thirst, but they met the need of our eternal soul-longing for something more. He didn’t offer us money, but He offered us hope. He offered us healing. He offered us love, and He offered us a chance to go into relationship.

It may be Easter, but don’t be a chicken. Let’s think about this: How can we step into a scary relationship, whether it be with a neighbor or a person sitting next to us in class or on the bus?

Let’s start by saying hello.

Happy Easter!

–Cliff